I have been thinking about this kind of thing for a while. Keller says it really well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmTAotnklKI&feature=endscreen&NR=1 There's some deep insight here. Kierkegaard said some truths that addicts and those who have been wounded can understand. At root -- "Who do you belong to?" is the question. Grace is needed to get and keep the "approval" we want and actually seek from actions and achievement.